narrative

You have heard this story before, we have all heard it many times, and now it is our turn to tell it.

So here is the birth story from Dads viewpoint:

We had a great dinner the night before at our favorite restaurant, the 'classic'. Back at home, I startled Tam at 10PM in the baby's room, she was already slipping into another place. She was talking to the baby inside her, telling her she could come out any time. We had just finished her room. Tam had visions that night. A form with a hose or tube coming from it.

I awoke from a haze at 3:30AM with Tam saying her water broke. It was just like you see in the movies. Contractions started soon after. We worked together, Tam and I, on breathing and managing things. We called Sarah, our doula at 7ish, and left for the hospital at 10ish, with much trouble, as with movement Tamara was almost one continuous contraction. She got wheeled in as I parked the car.

Tam had a mantra, of sorts, for her contractions. She was in a primal place, but also very present and aware. The hospital staff was feeling like there was lots of time, calling our midwife and telling her she was only at 2cm. Soon though, like an hour, she was at 5, then 10, and a call was made to our midwife to hurry on over as the baby was coming much faster than they thought. Tam knew exactly what she was doing.

At one point they asked Tam to walk down the hall and get in the tub. Tam looked at me, we were both thinking, 'no way.' The moment Tam walked 10 feet it was clear the baby was on the move. We hustled her back to the bed. They were figuring out Tam meant business. We knew it, but it took the staff some measurable evidence to realize how fast things were going to go. No 48 hour labor here.

Tam had expected her labor to be long, and we had brought swimming gear for me to get in and out of the shower and hot tub, figuring she would need to be walking and getting in warm water to help things along. No. So there I was, looking like I was about to jump in the ocean, in trunks and Quinta Troppo slippers from Zihua, having readied to get into the tub with Tam. Adeline would be born with me in my surf shorts.

Sally, the midwife, showed up 5 minutes later, just in time to see the baby coming. The amount of power coming from Tam was incredible, sort of like the hulk, that kind of sweaty, back-spreading, guttural expansion. Sally (local legend, the 'womb whisperer' as she is called, Aud took classes with her) talked her through the hard part, the pushing.

This bit maybe took 90 minutes of the most effort I have ever witnessed anyone put forth. Tam almost broke the bar above the bed she was hanging from, the torque. They tried to get her on her back at one point, but she would have none of that, springing to a better position. She knew. She draped herself over a ball. The process intensified all the way to the baby coming out, Tam moving up, posed like Atlas, hanging from a bar and holding the world on her shoulders, one knee up and one down, and the baby coming out, crying, then minutes later, Adeline on her chest, staring, calm (see pic in previous post). After such an awful pregnancy, Tam got her due with a perfect birth.

While Tam was pregnant, I thought I would prefer to be one of the waiting room dads, reading some magazines and waiting for the word of the birth. Foolish me. I would not have missed that for anything. The moment the baby was there, and then crying and gathering herself, getting wiped off, weighed, held for the first time, seeing her eyes... wow. I think I kept mumbling something about how I felt like I had been hit in the head with a shovel, but in the best way.

The nurse, Bev, who had been at this gig for 25 years, and who at first was giving looks like, "Gee, she is being a bit dramatic when we just admitted her and she is only at 2cm," said to us, "Thank you, it was a privilege to witness such a birth." Maybe she says this a lot, but I will exercise my parental right that it was truly a special birth. It was to us, so that is enough. We were very lucky. Is this why women do not climb Everest as often, or ride big waves? Is their mountain right there, coming from inside them? It was an epic effort. Tamara is my hero.

As for the baby, well, so many wild feelings and emotions. Caring for Adeline makes us pretty tired, as everyone well knows. The lack of sleep for the first few days was transformational, and I had lots of visions while dreaming, and visions awake too. It's all worth it. Again, an old story for those of you who have gone through it. Soon the baby should be packing on the pounds and able to sleep longer, but for now it is an around the clock affair. It's really great, with highs and lows. So far so good. We are very thankful.

Hopefully Tam can get some time in to give us her angle on the events. -e